10 Fingering Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You

10 Fingering Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You

Even as adults, we're still winging this.

1. We’ve been doing this since middle school and we’re still kind of winging it. Fingering is like jumpstarting a car for the average person. We’re pretty confident we know what we’re supposed to do in theory but it’s a little harder than it looks, and it might end in us starting a fire accidentally.

2. We know we’re doing it right when whatever we’re doing feels like it’s going to give us carpal tunnel syndrome. Honestly, excessive fingering is probably up there with typing all day as a cause of CT.

3. We’re pretty much doing whatever our last girlfriend told us felt good, unless you tell us otherwise. So feel free to tell us otherwise.

4. We know there's a time to go soft and slow. But it's so much sexier to hear you ask for it.

5. If this is an internal thing, figuring out how many fingers you want is always a tense affair. Is two enough? IS IT TOO MUCH?!

6. We’re not always sure what to do with our hands afterwards. Are you cool with us getting your fluids all over you? Should we wipe it on the sheets? Is immediately running to the bathroom to wash our hands rude? Everyone is different, and there’s no real etiquette guide that creates any kind of fingering standard.

7. The thumb is key here. We understand that much, at least. "Work the clit with the thumb" is the "put your hands on 10 and 2" of fingering.

8. Sometimes it feels impossible. You want one hand inside you and one hand grabbing your butt while we both lie down and also you want us blowing into your ear and… we’re just not that good at multitasking.

9. When all else fails, we’re just going to go really, really fast. It’s the equivalent of pulling an all-nighter trying to write a test and realizing you still have nine pages to go with two hours left. You just throw caution and form out the window and hope it works. Is this the best strategy? Probably not. Has it occasionally gotten a positive enough result that we keep doing it? You bet.

10. We don’t really care if you reciprocate one-for-one here. Don’t worry about giving us a dry hand job. If more sex-things are on the table at all, we’ll take literally anything else. Seriously.